Fatherhood

I cannot deny the joy my girls bring to me daily. There are times, however, when things just aren't very joyful.

Every Wednesday, I take off a half-day to watch my daughters so that my mother-in-law can cook the dinner served at the church. I'm thankful to be in the flexible position that allows me to do this. Our afternoons together are usually uneventful by most people's standards. Today has not been what I'd call "uneventful". I guess some background would be in order before I get to today.

Some may see me as tough or rough. Someone referred to me as "manly." I suppose those terms could be appropriate in a physical context. What most people don't realize is that I have an extremely weak stomach when it comes to smells and can nearly lose my mind when dealing with my 2 year old's brand of logic. Show me anything, it won't bother me...but let me get a whiff of something nasty and things can get bad very quickly. As a matter of fact, I have thrown up on each of my daughters while changing nasty diapers. I hope that doesn't scar them for life. Get Kaylee talking about why she should be allowed to do something, or trying to match wits with her daddy in some other way, and I become a complete moron.

Today, I'd been home for maybe 15 mintues and had just finished lunch when my mom-in-law left for the church. Kaylee and Elisha came upstairs with me and I thought we'd just play until time for naps. They were watching "Max and Ruby" and playing quietly, so I went to my bedroom. Seriously, not more than 3 minutes had passed before I thought "it's too quiet" and went back to look in on them. Elisha is walking down the hall toward me, fingers in her mouth, and something just didn't look right. As we got closer to each other, I could see green around her mouth. I wondered what she was chewing on, but then I noticed her hands were green also. 2 more steps down the hall and I could see Kaylee standing in a corner, smacking her hands on a shelf. 2 more steps and I see the puddle of green paint Kaylee's playing in. My reaction was a natural one. I said "Kaylee Michele! What are you doing?" My wise and honest 2 year-old said, "Painting my room." I said, "And your sister?" Kaylee replied "No daddy. Elisha's not my room. Her helping me." Elisha evidently decided to taste the paint because her lips were green, as was her tongue. She had it in her hair and splatters on her clothes. Kaylee had paint under her right eye, on both hands, and all over her clothes.

(My creative wife started painting the girls' room a few months ago. It's an elaborate concept of Noah's Ark, with animals all around. For a number of reasons, there hasn't been much progress on the room lately. My guess is that Kaylee and Elisha decided to help Mommy out.)

There is green paint in the carpet of their room. There are little green footprints leaving the room and entering the hall. There are little green handprints in a number of places, from their room to the hall to the bathroom. Daddy's not good at giving baths, and neither Kaylee nor Elisha was excited at the prospect of a daytime bath without Mommy. Normally, they both love bath time. Not today.

After the bath, Daddy needed a break and declared it "nap time." Elisha shook her head vigorously and kept saying "no." Kaylee informed me that Elisha wasn't tired, so nobody needed a nap. More often than not, I know better than to argue or debate with a 2 year old. Not today. Well, within 10 minutes, Elisha was sleeping soundly, so I took her to her bed. Kaylee wasn't where I left her, so I called out for her. She was under my bed. She said she'd take a nap IF she could sleep under the bed. Any good daddy knows that request was out of the question. I told her people don't sleep under beds and that she needed to lay down on my bed and get ready for a nap. Reluctantly, she crawled out and climbed up onto the bed.

The conversation went something like this. Kaylee: "I need sleep under my bed." Daddy: "No Kaylee. We sleep on beds, not under them." Kaylee: "Daddy, I need to." Daddy: "Why do you need to?" Kaylee: "Because I need to." Daddy: "But why do you need to?" Kaylee: "I need to." Daddy: "Why?" Kaylee: "I love you, Daddy." Daddy: "I love you too, but that's not answering my question." Kaylee: "I need sleep under my bed." There were some tears mixed in (hers, not mine), but this repeated for at least 10 minutes.

Knowing her stubbornness (although I have NO idea where it could come from), I told her she could sleep on the floor with her feet under her bed. So, I spread her blanket on the floor. She said "Thank you, Daddy" and laid down and was asleep within 30 seconds.

Feeling rather stupid and defeated, I started scrubbing the carpet in the hall to erase the footprints.

I can't wait for Christy to get home and do her mommy-thing so easily.

Lesson 8,944: don't argue with a 2 year old. (evidently, I haven't learned this one yet and am forced to repeat it over and over.)
Lesson 47,641: nothing is outside the reach of a determined 2 year old, no matter how little she is and how far "up" something has been placed.