Sunday, July 26, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Free Doughnuts
a friend of mine sent this to me. i think it paints a vivid picture. i do not know who authored this, but if i find out, i will credit them.
There was a certain Professor of Religion named Dr. Christianson, a studious man who taught at a small college in the western United States. Dr. Christianson taught the required survey course in Christianity at this particular institution. Every student was required to take this course his freshman year, regardless of his or her major. Although Dr. Christianson tried hard to communicate the essence of the gospel in his class, he found that most of his students looked upon the course as nothing but required drudgery. Despite his best efforts, most students refused to take Christianity seriously.
This year, Dr. Christianson had a special student named Steve. Steve was only a freshman, but was studying with the intent of going on to seminary for the ministry. Steve was popular, he was well liked, and he was an imposing physical specimen. He was now the starting center on the school football team, and was the best student in the professor's class.
One day, Dr. Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him. 'How many push-ups can you do?' Steve said, 'I do about 200 every night.' '200? That's pretty good, Steve, ' Dr. Christianson said. 'Do you think you could do 300?' Steve replied, 'I don't know.... I've never done 300 at a time.' 'Do you think you could?' again asked Dr. Christianson. 'Well, I can try,' said Steve. 'Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I have a class project in mind and I need you to do about 300 push-ups in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it,' said the professor. Steve said, 'Well... I think I can...yeah, I can do it.' Dr. Christianson said, 'Good! I need you to do this on Friday. Let me explain what I have in mind.'
Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, the professor pulled out a big box of donuts. No, these weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend with a party in Dr. Christianson's class.
Dr. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, 'Cynthia, do you want to have one of these donuts?' Cynthia said, 'Yes.' Dr. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, 'Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?' 'Sure!' Steve jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk. Dr. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk.
Dr. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, 'Joe, do you want a donut?'
Joe said, 'Yes.' Dr. Christianson asked, 'Steve would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?' Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut. And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten push-ups for every person before they got their donut.
Walking down the second aisle, Dr. Christianson came to Scott. Scott was on the basketball team, and in as good condition as Steve. He was very popular and never lacking for female companionship. When the professor asked, 'Scott do you want a donut?' Scott's reply was, 'Well, can I do my own push-ups?' Dr. Christianson said, 'No, Steve has to do them.' Then Scott said, 'Well, I don't want one then.'
Dr. Christianson shrugged and then turned to Steve and asked, 'Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?' With perfect obedience Steve started to do ten push-ups. Scott said, 'HEY! I said I didn't want one!' Dr. Christianson said, 'Look!, this is my classroom, my class, my desks, and these are my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it.' And he put a donut on Scott's desk.
Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow. Dr. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning to get a little angry.
Dr. Christianson asked Jenny, 'Jenny, do you want a donut?' Sternly, Jenny said, 'No.' Then Dr. Christianson asked Steve, 'Steve, would you do ten more push-ups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?' Steve did ten....Jenny got a donut.
By now, a growing sense of uneasiness filled the room. The students were beginning to say, 'No!' and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks. Steve also had to really put forth a lot of extra effort to get these push-ups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved.
Dr. Christianson asked Robert, who was the most vocal unbeliever in the class, to watch Steve do each push up to make sure he did the full ten push-ups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts. He sent Robert over to where Steve was so Robert could count the set and watch Steve closely.
Dr. Christianson started down the fourth row. During his class, however, some students from other classes had wandered in and sat down on the steps along the radiators that ran down the sides of the room. When the professor realized this, he did a quick count and saw that now there were 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it.
Dr. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set.
Steve asked Dr. Christianson, 'Do I have to make my nose touch on each one?' Dr. Christianson thought for a moment, 'Well, they're your pushups. You are in charge now. You can do them any way that you want.' And Dr. Christianson went on.
A few moments later, Jason, a recent transfer student, came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled in one voice, 'NO! Don't come in! Stay out!' Jason didn't know what was going on. Steve picked up his head and said, 'No, let him come.' Professor Christianson said, 'You realize that if Jason comes in you will have to do ten push-ups for him?' Steve said, 'Yes, let him come in. Give him a donut.' Dr. Christianson said, 'Okay, Steve, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?' Jason, new to the room, hardly knew what was going on. 'Yes,' he said, 'give me a donut.' 'Steve, will you do ten push-ups so that Jason can have a donut?' Steve did ten push-ups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down.
Dr. Christianson finished the fourth row, and then started on those visitors seated by the heaters. Steve's arms were now shaking with each push-up in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity. By this time sweat was profusely dropping off of his face, there was no sound except his heavy breathing; there was not a dry eye in the room.
The very last two students in the room were two young women, both cheerleaders, and very popular. Dr. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, 'Linda, do you want a donut?' Linda said, very sadly, 'No, thank you.' Professor Christianson quietly asked, 'Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?' Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow push-ups for Linda.
Then Dr. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. 'Susan, do you want a donut?' Susan, with tears flowing down her face, began to cry. 'Dr. Christianson, why can't I help him?' Dr. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, 'No, Steve has to do it alone; I have given him this task and he is in charge of seeing that everyone has an opportunity for a donut whether they want it or not. When I decided to have a party this last day of class, I looked at my grade book. Steve here is the only student with a perfect grade. Everyone else has failed a test, skipped class, or offered me inferior work. Steve told me that in football practice, when a player messes up he must do push-ups. I told Steve that none of you could come to my party unless he paid the price by doing your push ups. He and I made a deal for your sakes.'
'Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Susan can have a donut?' As Steve very slowly finished his last push-up, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 push-ups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.
Dr. Christianson turned to the room and said, 'And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, on the cross, plead to the Father, 'Into thy hands I commend my spirit.' With the understanding that He had done everything that was required of Him, He yielded up His life. And like some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the desk, uneaten.'
Two students helped Steve up off the floor and to a seat, physically exhausted, but wearing a thin smile.
'Well done, good and faithful servant,' said the professor, adding, 'Not all sermons are preached in words.'
Turning to his class, the professor said, 'My wish is that you might understand and fully comprehend all the riches of grace and mercy that have been given to you through the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He spared not His only Begotten Son, but gave Him up for us all, for the whole Church, now and forever. Whether or not we choose to accept His gift to us, the price has been paid. Wouldn't you be foolish and ungrateful to leave it lying on the desk?'
There was a certain Professor of Religion named Dr. Christianson, a studious man who taught at a small college in the western United States. Dr. Christianson taught the required survey course in Christianity at this particular institution. Every student was required to take this course his freshman year, regardless of his or her major. Although Dr. Christianson tried hard to communicate the essence of the gospel in his class, he found that most of his students looked upon the course as nothing but required drudgery. Despite his best efforts, most students refused to take Christianity seriously.
This year, Dr. Christianson had a special student named Steve. Steve was only a freshman, but was studying with the intent of going on to seminary for the ministry. Steve was popular, he was well liked, and he was an imposing physical specimen. He was now the starting center on the school football team, and was the best student in the professor's class.
One day, Dr. Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him. 'How many push-ups can you do?' Steve said, 'I do about 200 every night.' '200? That's pretty good, Steve, ' Dr. Christianson said. 'Do you think you could do 300?' Steve replied, 'I don't know.... I've never done 300 at a time.' 'Do you think you could?' again asked Dr. Christianson. 'Well, I can try,' said Steve. 'Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I have a class project in mind and I need you to do about 300 push-ups in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it,' said the professor. Steve said, 'Well... I think I can...yeah, I can do it.' Dr. Christianson said, 'Good! I need you to do this on Friday. Let me explain what I have in mind.'
Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, the professor pulled out a big box of donuts. No, these weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend with a party in Dr. Christianson's class.
Dr. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, 'Cynthia, do you want to have one of these donuts?' Cynthia said, 'Yes.' Dr. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, 'Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?' 'Sure!' Steve jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk. Dr. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk.
Dr. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, 'Joe, do you want a donut?'
Joe said, 'Yes.' Dr. Christianson asked, 'Steve would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?' Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut. And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten push-ups for every person before they got their donut.
Walking down the second aisle, Dr. Christianson came to Scott. Scott was on the basketball team, and in as good condition as Steve. He was very popular and never lacking for female companionship. When the professor asked, 'Scott do you want a donut?' Scott's reply was, 'Well, can I do my own push-ups?' Dr. Christianson said, 'No, Steve has to do them.' Then Scott said, 'Well, I don't want one then.'
Dr. Christianson shrugged and then turned to Steve and asked, 'Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?' With perfect obedience Steve started to do ten push-ups. Scott said, 'HEY! I said I didn't want one!' Dr. Christianson said, 'Look!, this is my classroom, my class, my desks, and these are my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it.' And he put a donut on Scott's desk.
Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow. Dr. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning to get a little angry.
Dr. Christianson asked Jenny, 'Jenny, do you want a donut?' Sternly, Jenny said, 'No.' Then Dr. Christianson asked Steve, 'Steve, would you do ten more push-ups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?' Steve did ten....Jenny got a donut.
By now, a growing sense of uneasiness filled the room. The students were beginning to say, 'No!' and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks. Steve also had to really put forth a lot of extra effort to get these push-ups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved.
Dr. Christianson asked Robert, who was the most vocal unbeliever in the class, to watch Steve do each push up to make sure he did the full ten push-ups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts. He sent Robert over to where Steve was so Robert could count the set and watch Steve closely.
Dr. Christianson started down the fourth row. During his class, however, some students from other classes had wandered in and sat down on the steps along the radiators that ran down the sides of the room. When the professor realized this, he did a quick count and saw that now there were 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it.
Dr. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set.
Steve asked Dr. Christianson, 'Do I have to make my nose touch on each one?' Dr. Christianson thought for a moment, 'Well, they're your pushups. You are in charge now. You can do them any way that you want.' And Dr. Christianson went on.
A few moments later, Jason, a recent transfer student, came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled in one voice, 'NO! Don't come in! Stay out!' Jason didn't know what was going on. Steve picked up his head and said, 'No, let him come.' Professor Christianson said, 'You realize that if Jason comes in you will have to do ten push-ups for him?' Steve said, 'Yes, let him come in. Give him a donut.' Dr. Christianson said, 'Okay, Steve, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?' Jason, new to the room, hardly knew what was going on. 'Yes,' he said, 'give me a donut.' 'Steve, will you do ten push-ups so that Jason can have a donut?' Steve did ten push-ups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down.
Dr. Christianson finished the fourth row, and then started on those visitors seated by the heaters. Steve's arms were now shaking with each push-up in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity. By this time sweat was profusely dropping off of his face, there was no sound except his heavy breathing; there was not a dry eye in the room.
The very last two students in the room were two young women, both cheerleaders, and very popular. Dr. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, 'Linda, do you want a donut?' Linda said, very sadly, 'No, thank you.' Professor Christianson quietly asked, 'Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?' Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow push-ups for Linda.
Then Dr. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. 'Susan, do you want a donut?' Susan, with tears flowing down her face, began to cry. 'Dr. Christianson, why can't I help him?' Dr. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, 'No, Steve has to do it alone; I have given him this task and he is in charge of seeing that everyone has an opportunity for a donut whether they want it or not. When I decided to have a party this last day of class, I looked at my grade book. Steve here is the only student with a perfect grade. Everyone else has failed a test, skipped class, or offered me inferior work. Steve told me that in football practice, when a player messes up he must do push-ups. I told Steve that none of you could come to my party unless he paid the price by doing your push ups. He and I made a deal for your sakes.'
'Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Susan can have a donut?' As Steve very slowly finished his last push-up, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 push-ups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.
Dr. Christianson turned to the room and said, 'And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, on the cross, plead to the Father, 'Into thy hands I commend my spirit.' With the understanding that He had done everything that was required of Him, He yielded up His life. And like some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the desk, uneaten.'
Two students helped Steve up off the floor and to a seat, physically exhausted, but wearing a thin smile.
'Well done, good and faithful servant,' said the professor, adding, 'Not all sermons are preached in words.'
Turning to his class, the professor said, 'My wish is that you might understand and fully comprehend all the riches of grace and mercy that have been given to you through the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He spared not His only Begotten Son, but gave Him up for us all, for the whole Church, now and forever. Whether or not we choose to accept His gift to us, the price has been paid. Wouldn't you be foolish and ungrateful to leave it lying on the desk?'
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
The real lesson of "Doubting Thomas"
“Doubting Thomas” really brings up a negative connotation. I find it interesting how the main thing we remember about the disciple Thomas is his doubt.
John, chapter 20, tells the story of Jesus’ resurrection. We’re told that He appeared to Mary Magdalene first, and then to a group of His followers. We know that not all of the disciples were present when Jesus appeared to the group. While we cannot know for certain who was there, we do know that Thomas wasn’t present. After hearing the eyewitness accounts, Thomas still didn’t believe. He said “I will not believe it until I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were and put my hand into his side."
A whole week passes, and the followers of Jesus are meeting again, behind locked doors. Suddenly, Jesus appears among them. He approaches Thomas and says, “Put your finger here, and look at my hands. Put your hand here in my side. Stop being an unbeliever and believe."
Did Jesus admonish Thomas for his doubt? Was he ridiculed for his lack of faith? Absolutely not. Jesus dealt with Thomas in a “whatever it takes” mode. Jesus said “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." He did NOT say “Because you had to see me to believe, you are less blessed than those who believe without seeing.”
Thomas wanted to believe. Were that not the case, why would he have still been hanging around with the disciples over a week after Jesus' death? Thomas was desperate to believe, but he needed more than “word of mouth.” Thomas needed a personal encounter with the risen Savior.
There is no indication that Thomas’ faith was any different (or any less) than anyone else’s. It just took something different to bring Thomas to that point.
Doubts aren’t evil. Questions aren’t bad. If you have doubts, face them constantly. If you have questions, keep asking them.
God may not answer every question you pose to Him, but He will give you what you need if you are sincere...just like Thomas.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Grace
When I was 18, I met Craig Sayle and we became fast friends. Craig viewed God differently than anyone I'd ever met. On the subject of grace, Craig explained that salvation wasn't about me, but about Jesus' sacrifice on my behalf. I responded with something like "yeah, when I was lost and didn't deserve His love, He loved me anyway." Craig said "you don't deserve it now, Jason...but He loves you anyway. The only difference is that you've accepted His gift...but you're still undeserving of it. THAT is the beginning of grace."
In the years since, I've seen God's grace demonstrated in more ways than I can count. As my understanding of grace has become clearer, it's become more evident that it's not about me. I am beginning to understand Paul's plea that he decrease and Christ increase in his life.
If not for the reality of grace, I have no hope. If not for the evidence of grace, I have no peace. If not for the presence of grace, I have no purpose. Without the example of grace, I don't have the capacity to love.
In short, there's one thing I'm sure of: without grace, I have nothing. If I don't extend grace to others, I cheapen the reality of the grace in which I survive. Unless I share grace, I take for granted the very grace that allows me to take my next breath.
Life in the reality of absolute grace is a learning, and humbling process. I wish I was farther along than I am.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Who is God?
Over the last few months, a number of conversations have caused me to think on the question of God's identity.
God isn't holy, He is the definition of holiness. God doesn't love, He is perfect love. God doesn't have a sense of justice, He is justice. God doesn't act mercifully, He is mercy. God isn't gracious, He is the essence of grace. God doesn't hold eternity, He is eternal. He is all these things and more, all intricately tied together. One cannot talk about God's justice without considering His love. One cannot consider His love without also considering his holiness at the same time. He is always everything that He is. His love does not come to us without holiness, mercy, justice, and grace. God defined Himself to Moses...I Am. If we try to define Him differently than that, then we leave some part of His character out of the picture.
We try so hard to understand God...to conjure ideas and words that describe Him. The main problem with that is that we humans are finite beings and cannot fully comprehend He who is infinite. Because of that, we try to put human characteristics onto God, and that leads to some horribly wrong conclusions. Recently, I heard "How can a loving God willingly send His children to hell? I love my children, and no matter how much they disappointed me, I would never cast them into eternal darkness, to be eaten by worms and burned with an eternal fire." The problem with that question and statement is that the person asking tried to put them self on the same level as God, either by elevating them self, or demoting God. God is beyond our understanding because He is infinite and we are finite. All we know is what we can measure. God, on the other hand, is immeasurable. being measureless, we cannot comprehend Him fully...thus the need for faith.
I'll use "time" as an example of this. God exists in the eternal present tense. He always has been and always will be. That is impossible for us to grasp because everything we know is based on time. Our clock starts ticking when we are born, and it counts down until we die. Our life is measured in years. Years are measured in months. Months are measured in days. Our days are measured in hours. Hours are measured in minutes. Minutes are measured in seconds. That is all we know. God, on the other hand, doesn't operate in time. He created time, but it holds no meaning for Him. If I could get a physicist to explain quantum mechanics to you, in a way you could understand, until you put quantum mechanics into practice in your life, it would hold no real meaning for you. God is the same way where time is considered. He understands it (because He created it), but because He doesn't operate in it, time is meaningless to Him.
Below is an illustration I came up with that shows this more clearly than I could describe. There is a dot above a line. The line has an X at either end. The X on the left represents "creation" while the X on the right represents "judgement day." God is represented by the red asterisk.
Everything that mankind understands and experiences falls somewhere on that line; past, present, and future. God, in the eternal present tense, doesn't experience a past, present, or future. In eternity, creation and judgement can be viewed as simultaneous events.
If that is a mind-boggling concept, then consider that everything about God is equally difficult to grasp. If He is who He claims to be, then logically we cannot expect to fully understand His nature on this side of eternity. "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."
God isn't afraid of our questions. We can ask anything, but He is not obligated to tell us everything we want to know. God is God, and we are not. He is omnipotent and we know less than we think.
God isn't holy, He is the definition of holiness. God doesn't love, He is perfect love. God doesn't have a sense of justice, He is justice. God doesn't act mercifully, He is mercy. God isn't gracious, He is the essence of grace. God doesn't hold eternity, He is eternal. He is all these things and more, all intricately tied together. One cannot talk about God's justice without considering His love. One cannot consider His love without also considering his holiness at the same time. He is always everything that He is. His love does not come to us without holiness, mercy, justice, and grace. God defined Himself to Moses...I Am. If we try to define Him differently than that, then we leave some part of His character out of the picture.
We try so hard to understand God...to conjure ideas and words that describe Him. The main problem with that is that we humans are finite beings and cannot fully comprehend He who is infinite. Because of that, we try to put human characteristics onto God, and that leads to some horribly wrong conclusions. Recently, I heard "How can a loving God willingly send His children to hell? I love my children, and no matter how much they disappointed me, I would never cast them into eternal darkness, to be eaten by worms and burned with an eternal fire." The problem with that question and statement is that the person asking tried to put them self on the same level as God, either by elevating them self, or demoting God. God is beyond our understanding because He is infinite and we are finite. All we know is what we can measure. God, on the other hand, is immeasurable. being measureless, we cannot comprehend Him fully...thus the need for faith.
I'll use "time" as an example of this. God exists in the eternal present tense. He always has been and always will be. That is impossible for us to grasp because everything we know is based on time. Our clock starts ticking when we are born, and it counts down until we die. Our life is measured in years. Years are measured in months. Months are measured in days. Our days are measured in hours. Hours are measured in minutes. Minutes are measured in seconds. That is all we know. God, on the other hand, doesn't operate in time. He created time, but it holds no meaning for Him. If I could get a physicist to explain quantum mechanics to you, in a way you could understand, until you put quantum mechanics into practice in your life, it would hold no real meaning for you. God is the same way where time is considered. He understands it (because He created it), but because He doesn't operate in it, time is meaningless to Him.
Below is an illustration I came up with that shows this more clearly than I could describe. There is a dot above a line. The line has an X at either end. The X on the left represents "creation" while the X on the right represents "judgement day." God is represented by the red asterisk.
Everything that mankind understands and experiences falls somewhere on that line; past, present, and future. God, in the eternal present tense, doesn't experience a past, present, or future. In eternity, creation and judgement can be viewed as simultaneous events.
If that is a mind-boggling concept, then consider that everything about God is equally difficult to grasp. If He is who He claims to be, then logically we cannot expect to fully understand His nature on this side of eternity. "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."
God isn't afraid of our questions. We can ask anything, but He is not obligated to tell us everything we want to know. God is God, and we are not. He is omnipotent and we know less than we think.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Identity
I'm Jason, the son of Mike and Ginger; grandson of Boot and Catherine, John and Mozelle. I'm Christy's husband. I'm Kaylee's daddy. I'm Elisha's daddy. I'm Katie and Lindsay's brother. I'm uncle to Emma, Ellie, Kendall, and Josh.
I'm a friend to some, acquaintance to others, and unknown to most. I'm a customer and a provider. Some would call me "proud" and "arrogant," while others would say I'm "humble" and "too self-critical." I'm a church member and a committee member.
Some call me a cynic, others say I'm honest. I'm caustic and abrasive to some, while quiet and shy to others. Some people think I'm wise, others consider me a fool. I'm known as a malcontent and a visionary. I've been called "cold" and "tender hearted."
So, what is this...a personal inventory? Not really. It's about who I am, really.
When I was young, I saw tendencies in myself that I did not like. I'm critical by nature, and rarely focused on positive things that were part of my personality. I determined, around the age of 12, that I would not allow the negative tendencies to rule my life. The older I got, the more those tendencies would make their way to the surface...and I hated that about myself. Whether I gave in to those tendencies or not, I saw them as weaknesses that I should overcome...to the point where they never reared their ugly heads. There was a constant battle in me to NOT be defined by those things that I hated. It seemed the more I fought them, the worse they got. Now, before anyone starts wondering, I'm not talking about "sin" per se. I'm talking about character traits...personality issues...attitudes. All of those things can lead to sin...but sin is not the subject here.
In my youth, the concept (and reality) of Grace was essentially non-existent. "Grace" was a buzz-word; a punchline. I didn't understand it, and I suspect that very few in my life did either. I knew what grace meant..."unmerited favor"...every good baptist knows that. The problem was that beyond those words..."unmerited favor"...grace meant nothing to me. I knew I'd been saved by grace through faith...but nobody took the time to try to explain it to me. Probably because nobody in my life understood it.
As I've grown to understand grace...mostly by it's evidence in my life...I've come to grips with the fact that if God can love me, knowing me better than I know myself, then I am a fool not to try to see me as He sees me. I was created in His likeness...we all were. Think about that for a second. As different as we all are...as unique as the billions upon billions who've ever walked the Earth...we are ALL created in His likeness. God delights in His creation...and I believe He delights in the diversity of it, specifically. If He'd wanted us all to be alike, He could have used a cookie-cutter and just stamped us out. Nobody would ever have a personality conflict, a difference of opinion, or an argument. He chose to make us unique, yet all of us made like Him. It took a long time for me to like myself...knowing me as well as I do. It took longer for me to really accept me for me...the good, the bad, and the ugly. God made me, just as I am...and He loves me for being me. He delights in ME being ME!
Those who know me well understand that I don't care much what people think of me. My integrity is important, and one of the greatest needs in my life is to be able to look myself in the mirror. Many years ago, I found it difficult to do so because I was living my life to please others...to be what some folks "expected" me to be. I'd tried for SO long to live up to the picture of me that others wanted to see. Those people I respected most...those I wanted to please...they had an idea about who I was supposed to be (because they loved me and wanted the best for me), and I tried to live up to that as a standard. I failed MISERABLY and was, in turn, miserable myself because I wasn't being true to who God had created me to be. When I broke those chains...that bondage to the expectations of others...I was truly free. Free to be me, just as God made me.
I am who I am...and you don't have to like it...but God does...and every day I'm less concerned with what others think or expect. God expects me to be the best Jason I can be. Most days, I fail...but life's much easier with a goal of being all the Jason I can be, and not worrying about other things. When I live to please God, and not man, I fully experience the freedom that His grace provides.
Are you striving to be the best _______ you can be or are you more concerned about how others see you? Are you striving to live as the image of God you were created as, or the image someone else says you should be?
By the way, I'm pretty sure that I am everything i listed above...and much more.
the good + the bad + the ugly = Jason, just as God made me.
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